Star Crossed Lovers...we were not...

Star Crossed Lovers ( We were not...till now)

 

Back in the day, before cell phones, emails, Facebook & Facetime there was the rotary phone with special hours to call during the day.  It was at that hour, while in college, Tom and I would pinpoint the day and time that we would 'connect.'  Since we couldn't see or hear eachother at any given moment, it was this designated time that we would create the essence of our being with each other.  Although we were star crossed lovers because of distance, it never limited our ability to see, feel and exchange our love to one another.

 

Every Thursday night at 10:01, non peak hours, we would talk on the phone but before hanging up, the date and time was chosen.  No matter where either one of us were, we would stop what we were doing, step outside and find the purest, brightest star and that was the one we said was ours - the one we looked at the same time and knew that love was good.  It was our Facetime, Facebook and our email to each other.

 

It's amazing how as time goes by, and when you are ready, the signs of the universe come back at you again.  This time with clarity, knowledge and a love that was just being felt so many years ago.  The black sky is never truly that - it sparkles, it gleams, it calls the lovers to each other.

 

How appropriate now do I sit and wonder about that "Twinkle, Twinkle little star"  Is it Tom, is it another place in time or just a light in the sky.  Whatever you think, it was and will be, a guide for so many and in so many ways.



Agape xo

Fake Light

 

The light can be annoying, not 'real' light, but the artificial fluorescent kinds.  They never seem to cast normal shadows, they never seem to 'brighten" anything, in fact, they really just expose you with double shadows.

Double shadows follow and cause angst and anxiety because they are a combination of your true self and the self you think you should be. 

 I observed this recently while visiting someone in the hospital where fluorescent lights are the norm.

It is amazing how adults tend to talk more to each other in crisis situations, when they are afraid and when they are at their most pure state of self and own essence.

It left me wondering if they had talked all along and didn't let that double shadow follow them,  if there would have been a crisis at all!?!?

I believe it to be true that the stresses of life, the imbalance of light and dark, continue to manifest and cause physical dis-ease daily.

Tending to the care of our existence, expressing our true feelings and letting our innate, natural light shine openly and freely, are all the elements needed to provide peace, grace and communion with others in a more positive, more active and more lovable way.

Agape xo

The Storm

THE STORM
Pierre-Auguste Cot
1880

oil on canvas

While at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I searched again for my favorite painting of all time!  I can't seem to get enough of it.

It all began, when I was at college.  I took an Art History course and was stuck in awe on this particular painting as the professor put it up on the 'overhead projector'  I stared at it in awe.   I believe we spoke about the glimmers of light that peaked through the painting, the sheerness of her dress and the hesitation, vulnerability and the protection each granted one another.

It amazes me the parallels of this image.  I presented it to my husband on our first anniversary because while on our honeymoon, the jeep we rented did not have a roof and of course, it rained.   We laughed as we took whatever towels we had and Tom tried to keep me dry as he drove.  

Years, children and lots of love later, the image seemed to take on a new meaning - as the storm of cancer made its way through our lives - sure, there were glimmers of light, sheer rays of hope and never a hesitation but always a state of feeling vulnerable, yet, there was constant protection for one another.  

As the days got shorter, and a new light would beckon for Tom soon, I was drawn to our skylight in my room as the sun beamed down and made us wince.  Again, protection was granted as my good friend ~E ~ created a shade that would shield us as it did in the painting. 

When the day came, It was natural to drape him properly.  His essence was there and now as I look at that painting, I see that he was saying with his eyes, "It's going to be okay, let it go."   

I am.

Agape
xo

When you were here...

When you were here...the lights shone brightly, life was warm and notions were gone.  As the light began to fade and cancer took you away, it took a while to see the light again in the aura it is.  It is true, time heals and once what was lost, truly is found again in the smiles, goodness and way that life embraces us when we aren't looking.

Today, glimmers become the light that guides our path as we move forward.  Hope never stands still anymore - it moves with ebb of a wave, the ray of sunshine and the sparkle of glistening new snow.

Knowing this all helps to move the loss from just that - a positive gain to the life that should be led.  Forever will your light be embedded within us.  You showed compassion, goodness, non-judgmental ways and a soothing presence. Everyone has a light - everyone has a name - you were Tom.

A Beam of Light Through The Clouds

We put on sunglasses to protect ourselves from the sun but really I am beginning to believe, it is so that we can see the "light" as it peaks through the clouds early in the morning, after a storm or on the verge of evening peacefulness.

Agape  xo

A String of Lights...

 

 

It all begins today...

A vision, a heartfelt notion that life never truly ends, we just transcend from one place to another with continuous light and love. 

One single light, a string of lights, a spotlight, a flashlight, candlelight or a night light.  Whatever way it shines, it shines for you ... really. 

Understanding this will bring you more love than you will ever know. 
Understanding the essence of this will bring you more peace than you will ever know. 
Understanding the foundation is all that you need.

When you meditate, you bring in the light and if you can draw it in to the core, you will be 'enlightened'

Today is the day...I begin to count, till the day, the  many lights will guide, hover and celebrate my path to another journey of love.

Agape  xo